Befuddled, Bewildered and Bamboozled

Aside from being very awesome words in their own right, they are the perfect descriptors of the mood wherein I find myself currently.

I swivel the chair listlessly. My imaginary audience milling about, hanging on the edge of seats with breath baited and excitement in their eyes. They expect me to speak.

I, their prophet, spouter of silliness and vanity, break free from the tedium that I have girded myself with for a moment and murmur (much to everyone’s consternation) “The cowards! The fools!”

I descend once more back into the depths of my gym induced stupor. Cast adrift in a tractless and infinite sea of emptiness, I am a shell of a man forlornly sitting in a rather large chair.

What affects me so, you might ask, were you inclined to care or show sympathy? I have hit a wall, a stumbling stone, a proverbial block. You might say a block of writers or a writer’s block. Hmmm. I like that phrase. You’ve seen it here first folks. The first coinage of the term writer’s block. Confetti and cakes for me!

Now back to the matter at hand. I stare blankly at my computer screen, willing the words to fly out of my brain and into the click-clacking of keyboard keys recording my every thought and whim.

A member of my imaginary crowd steps triumphantly forward. He coughs seeking to catch my attention. I studiously ignore him for a minute before finally swiveling my chair and sighing dramatically.

“You’re writing now.”

Egads! Eureka! Another word for epiphany! Epiphany!

It is time to make haste. I must away to write and perchance to dream. Before leaving I whip out a sword from one of the small pockets on the side of my chair. I motion for the man to approach and kneel.

“I hereby dub thee, Captain Obvious. You shall be my friend.”

Now back to writing.


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