Things have calmed down around here. The imaginary crowd has become docile. No more rioting, no more gratuitous threatenings of chairs. Nope, things are pretty quiet around here. Although the imaginary crowd has started eating the grass. And mooing.

You know what?

I think they might actually be cows. Crap. Note to self: Locate imaginary crowd.

Now onto today’s subject. I have words of wisdom to impart. Not from me of course. I haven’t spouted a wise word in my life. But before I reveal anything to you, I’d like to tell the story as to how I came by them. Imagine if you will, a time, a couple of months in the past.

Three intrepid young adventurers (Adam, Steph, and I) sallied forth to fair Seattle, there to kill a dragon. This is their story.

No. No. No.

That’s wrong. Sorry.

We sallied forth to fair Seattle, there to act like the true nerds Adam and I undoubtably are and attend a book signing by one of our favorite authors. After squealing like little schoolgirls and speculating wildly (and inaccurately) we listened to Mr. George RR Martin give a talk about his new book and the state of his newly finished HBO series.

Then, it was time. A massive line formed (queue for my British readers) and after indulging in conversation with those fortunate enough to stand around us (reaffirming our “coolness” at their expense), we finally stood at the front. There, in all his glory, sat Mr. Martin in trademark suspenders and Greek fisherman’s cap.

We were allowed a book signing and a brief question to ask this august personage. As a self-styled “aspiring writer” I asked him for any advice. With barely a glance to acknowledge my puerile and insignificant presence he said as regards the writing of dialogue (one of the things I struggle with most), “Read it out loud. If it isn’t something you would say then your characters probably shouldn’t be saying it.”

Was your mind just blown? Mine was at the time. I’m still looking for all the pieces.

So straight from the mouth of George RR Martin. There you have it folks.

I hear a little peep, the barest murmur, the merest suggestion of a whisper, “Any advice from you Mr. Chicken Captain?”

I wheel the chair, looking for the source. I find nothing and am at an utter loss for explanation. My blog is haunted!

Anyway to answer this voice from thin air. My advice would be to not stop writing. Seriously. Push through it and don’t take breaks. Procrastination is not and never will be your friend.

Note to self: Follow own advice.